The Italian Job
(F Gary Gray, 2003) 9pm, Channel 4Another Hollywood remake that doesn’t live up to the original. Mark Wahlberg is efficient in the Michael Caine role, here executing a brilliant bullion robbery (in Venice) and then leading his top team of thieves against the traitor in their midst (Edward Norton), with the help of safecracking Charlize Theron. Set mainly in boring old LA, it’s unmemorably entertaining, but at least the three Minis get a run out.Red Dragon
(Brett Ratner, 2002) 10pm, ITV1Anthony Hopkins sharpens his incisors for a third bite of the Hannibal Lecter role, this one falling somewhere between the excellent Silence Of The Lambs and the disappointing sequel, Hannibal. This prequel has FBI man Edward Norton investigating the gruesome murders of the Tooth Fairy (played, scarily, by a heavily tattooed Ralph Fiennes) and consulting the people-eating killer he put behind bars, Doc Lecter, for tips on how human monsters’ minds work. Very slick, very predictable - not least because Michael Mann made a mean and moody version in the 1980s, called Manhunter.Joan Of Arc
(Luc Besson, 1999) 11pm, BBC2Milla Jovovich looks the part in hubby Luc Besson’s account of the maverick maid of Orleans, but it’s a strident, deeply unsympathetic performance - no wonder Kathryn Bigelow walked out of the project rather than direct her. Otherwise this full-blooded medieval epic is a fine vehicle for showing off Besson’s cinematic flair - the battles are superb.The Man Who Wasn’t There
(Joel Coen, 2001) 12.50am, Channel 4In smalltown California, 1949, lugubrious barber Ed Crane suspects his wife, Doris, of having an affair with the boss, Big Dave (James Gandolfini), and hatches a noirish blackmail scheme. The Coen brothers’ script is full of sly, disconcerting humour and period paranoia. Mesmerising performances, too, from Billy Bob Thornton and Frances McDormand as the Cranes.Lady Of Deceit
(Robert Wise, 1947) 3.30am, BBC2A dirty film noir, oozing brutality and corrupt sexuality. Lawrence Tierney’s psychotic (but charming) killer weds Audrey Long, all the time smouldering at her hot sister, Claire Trevor, who’s a regular femme fatale: when she tells him, “There’s a kind of depravity in you,” it’s a compliment.Mountains Of The Moon
(Bob Rafelson, 1990) 2.30am, ITV1The slightly rambling but compelling saga of Sir Richard Burton and John Hanning Speke’s dogged quest to find the source of the Nile. Rafelson creates a colourful, at times violent epic that finds time for personal feelings and qualms. Patrick Bergin and Iain Glen are excellent as the explorers, with Fiona Shaw as Burton’s fiancee and Bernard Hill cropping up as Livingstone.Sunday January 20Toys
(Barry Levinson, 1992) 5.10pm, FiveThis soppy, self-indulgent fantasy at least has Michael Gambon as war-mad toy manufacturer Uncle Leland, churning out legions of military merchandise like a tinpot Nazi. Robin Williams is surprisingly quiet as the nephew fighting for the rights of real toys; Joan Cusack his doll-obsessed sister. The finale is grand: a miniature armageddon.National Lampoon’s Loaded Weapon 1
(Gene Quintano, 1993) 7.30pm, FiveThe Lethal Weapon series is the main target of this spirited spoof. Emilio Estevez takes the Mel Gibson part (gratuitous butt shot and all) while Samuel L Jackson does Danny Glover, the daft cops taking on villains Tim Curry and William Shatner (yes, Star Trek comes in for some mickey-taking too). Enjoyable, knockabout humour, the best of it concerning the big-star cameos, Bruce Willis, Whoopi Goldberg and F Murray Abraham among them.AVP: Alien Vs Predator
(Paul WS Anderson, 2004) 9pm, Channel 4A trashy videogame clone, cynically created to cash in on two great monster franchises at once, with Lance Henriksen’s crusty billionaire leading a polar expedition to a temple where the aliens and predators lurk. It’s extraordinarily dull for ages and when the title fight does break out, you can hardly see it amid the gloom. But that didn’t stop them making a sequel, Requiem, in cinemas soon.Ransom
(Ron Howard, 1997) 9pm, FiveA nine-year-old boy is kidnapped; the parents - Mel Gibson’s airline tycoon and wife Rene Russo - receive a $2m ransom demand. But Gibson doesn’t give in to demands: he announces on TV that, yes, he’ll pay the money - to anyone who brings in the kidnappers (led by Gary Sinise and Lili Taylor), dead or alive.Simpatico
(Matthew Warchus, 1999) 11pm, BBC2Former theatre director Warchus assembles a great cast for this screen version of Sam Shepard’s play: Jeff Bridges is a wealthy Kentucky racehorse owner, Sharon Stone his wife; Nick Nolte the alcoholic ex-buddy showing up to blackmail him about some past dirty business. An illustrious drama on the themes of friendship and betrayal.The Whistle Blower
(Simon Langton, 1986) 11.10pm, BBC1A low-key espionage thriller in the Le Carr%26eacute; mode. Michael Caine stars as a former agent investigating the mysterious death of his son (Nigel Havers) who was working as a translator in the Russian section of GCHQ. It’s all a bit hackneyed, but Caine is, as ever, very watchable.Rules Of Engagement
(William Friedkin, 2000) 11.40pm, ITV1The prime pairing of Tommy Lee Jones and Samuel L Jackson make this military courtroom drama more watchable than it deserves to be. Jackson is a marine colonel accused of a massacre of civilians in riot-torn Yemen; Jones is the army lawyer who defends him. The action scenes are well staged, but the plot is unconvincing. And it’s an ethical wreck.Monday January 21Three Days Of The Condor
(Sydney Pollack, 1975) 3.25pm, FiveSuperb post-Watergate conspiracy thriller. Robert Redford plays a history researcher who narrowly misses the seemingly pointless assassination of his colleagues. Hunted by icy hitman Max von Sydow, he struggles to uncover a renegade CIA faction. Edgy, convoluted and clever, there’s also room for a credible affair with Faye Dunaway.Ronin
(John Frankenheimer, 1998) 9pm, FiveThe ronin were masterless warriors in ancient Japan, and their present-day counterparts here are a gang of veteran crooks contracted by Irish paymaster Natascha McElhone to recover The Suitcase and its unknown contents. Frankenheimer organises some efficient action, and the gang - including Robert De Niro, Jean Reno, Stellan Skarsg%26aring;rd and Sean Bean - has a likably worldly air.Mike Bassett: England Manager
(Steve Barron, 2001) 10pm, Channel 4Footie films tend to offer inspirational heroics, but Barron’s film is all too depressingly realistic. It’s a comedy for sure - Ricky Tomlinson is the Norwich manager called to international duty by Lancaster Gate numbskulls - but this portrait of a Steve McClaren-like man out of his depth and under pressure is also horribly realistic.Remember The Titans
(Boaz Yakin, 2000)11.20pm, BBC1More sport: this muscular tale stars Denzel Washington as football coach at a newly integrated high school in Virginia, 1971. With previous (white) coach Will Patton now his assistant, racial tensions run high, but Denzel’s strict training regimes builds team spirit like Jose Mourinho.Tuesday January 22Housekeeping
(Bill Forsyth, 1987) 1.30pm, FiveScottish director Bill Forsyth’s first American feature is a charming tale with a touch of Lemony Snicket about it. Two orphaned sisters (Sara Walker and Andrea Burchill) are sent to live with flaky Canadian aunt Christine Lahti, where they learn to depend on themselves in a gentle and evocative comic drama.Wednesday January 23To Catch A Thief
(Alfred Hitchcock, 1955) 3.30pm, FiveThere’s little substance to this airy-light comic thriller, but with Grace Kelly and Cary Grant starring, the style is guaranteed. He’s the Cat (burglar), retired to sunny luxury on the French Riviera, but pulling on the black rollneck sweater once more when a copy-Cat starts prowling on his patch.The Negotiator
(F Gary Gray, 1998) 9pm, BBC1When Samuel L Jackson’s ace hostage negotiator is framed for murder and embezzlement, he reacts by taking his main accuser (JT Walsh) and a bunch of admin staff hostage, demanding that a negotiator from another district (Kevin Spacey) investigates the crisis. The face off between two of US cinema’s most charismatic leads provides Gray’s clever drama with a powerful charge.Thursday January 24A Thousand Acres
(Jocelyn Moorhouse, 1997) 1.10am, Channel 4When an irascible old widowed farmer (Jason Robards) decides to give his land to his three daughters, all sorts of simmering family strife comes to the boil. It’s a slightly underpowered melodrama that never quite rings true, despite the best efforts of Michelle Pfeiffer, Jessica Lange and Jennifer Jason Leigh as the sisters.Friday January 25The School Of Rock
(Richard Linklater, 2003) 8pm, Channel 4Actually, that’s “School of Raaaawwwckkk!!” as Jack Black’s slacker Dewey Finn blags a temporary teaching job at a posh prep school, where he starts educating the fifth-grade kids about the glory of the Who, Led Zep and all - and moulds them into a heavy metal outfit to enter a local battle of the bands. A fresh and funny tale.The Culpepper Cattle Company
(Dick Richards,1972) 11.35pm, BBC2Harsh western about teenager Gary Grimes’ adventures as a cowboy riding for Billy “Green” Bush’s cattleman. The tone is dourly naturalistic, with grainy, Peckinpah-esque photography dwelling on a haze of traildust, sweat, grime and blood - lots of blood.
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