From your parenthetical interjection, I take it that you are insinuating that your girlfriend is too old for this. This leads us to the tricky area about age limits and dressing. I’m not going to argue that they don’t exist because, sad as some of us may find it, what once looked cute often looks crazy 10 years later, and the prosecution calls Dame Barbara Cartland as evidence. Unexpectedly, though, brightly coloured tights escape such a tarring. The reason certain other garments (empire-line dresses, anything that proudly boasts the adjectives “pink” or “babydoll”) have a very specific sell-by date is because their USP is about emphasising the wearer’s youth. Once that youth is no longer in abundance they have the opposite effect, ie they make them look about 127.Instead, colourful tights are all about creating an overall effect, clashing one’s purple hosiery with one’s yellow shift dress and one’s turquoise pumps in a 60s pop art kind of way, and if colour coordination in an artistic manner isn’t a sign of maturity, well, I’ll eat my sequined Miu Miu alice band. Oh, and Greg! Good luck at home tonight.My boyfriend wants to get a fringe. Can you tell him that he’s wrong?Sheryl Miller, LeedsBoy, it’s like family court round here today, ain’t it? Do I look like Dr Phil to you people? Don’t people in relationships talk to each other any more? Or have we become so dependent on reality TV-style intermediaries that you all depend on go-betweens? And is that enough rhetorical questions for y’all?Anyway, it’s really a question of the man. Without a doubt, a fringe on a man is a tricky proposition, leading, as it often does, to Brother Cadfael jokes. This is because many men use the fringe as an alternative to the combover, compensating for the lack on top by a surplus somewhere else, leading to a style that might go down well in the monastery, but tends not to fly with the ladeez.Having said that, in the spirit of scientific accuracy, there is always the exception that overturns the rule, and the exception in this case is John Krasinski, fringed, and literally the most attractive man who has ever walked on this planet. Yes, literally. For those of you who have tragically as yet not had the bliss of encountering this fine specimen, he plays Jim in the US version of The Office, which is about as superior to the UK version as wine is to water, and this is in no small part due to the lovely John who beats the pants off his UK counterpart, Martin Freeman, despite the latter’s superior surname. Let’s all take a moment to inwardly bless the Paramount channel for currently showing nightly repeats of the US Office, because for some of us it’s the only way we’re getting through January. John even triumphs over the previous holder of the title The Most Attractive Man in the Universe, David Morrissey, and that really takes some doing.But both of these men held this title despite their very unfortunate hair: Morrissey’s mullet in the recent Sense and Sensibility, and John’s fringe. So really, Sheryl, it’s up to you whether you think your boyfriend’s inner qualities are sufficient to triumph over the fringe handicap. Although, as with Greg, seeing as you seem to have questioned this in a national newspaper, the decision might no longer be yours to make.
Tags: family, garments
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