Since then, Messrs Hicks and Gillett have resembled the couple of cowboys many Liverpool fans feared they might be and tonight the Kop plan to let them know they’re about as welcome on the red half of Merseyside as Rupert Murdoch and Boris Johnson singing D:Ream’s ‘Things Can Only Get Better’.
In truth, Liverpool fans’ focus should be set squarely on encouraging their team to overcome a strong Aston Villa side who, with the help of ‘The Quiet American’ Randy Lerner and ‘The Not So Quiet Irishman’ Martin O’Neill, have guided the club away from mediocrity towards being genuine contenders for the fourth spot that Liverpool have, by and large, made their own.Villa’s biggest threat tonight will come from set-pieces with the height of John Carew and Scandinavian goal-getting defensive duo Martin Laursen and Olof Mellberg. Laursen has already scored six this season from centre back, so Liverpool might want to avoid conceding needless free-kicks in wide positions. With this aerial presence it could be a baptism of fire for Slovakian centre-back Martyn Skrtel if he starts tonight in place of Sami Hyypia. As for Liverpool, expect Steven Gerrard or Fernando Torres to be their most likely scorers, unless Rafael Benitez sees sense and starts the increasingly impressive Ryan Babel alongside the Spaniard, instead of giving him 20 minutes to prove his worth.
My prediction: Liverpool 3-1 Aston VillaMBMer’s charidee section: Yours truly will be running 233 miles from London to Liverpool on April 1st (no joke!) for MacMillan Cancer Support. I’ll be running around 21 miles a day. If you can find it in your heart to sponsor me you can do so here and help out a charity which has helped me and my family out a great deal. Right here’s tonight’s teams:Liverpool: Reina, Arbeloa, Carragher, Hyypia, Aurelio,
Benayoun, Mascherano, Gerrard, Kewell, Kuyt, Torres. Subs:
Itandje, Alonso, Crouch, Babel, Skrtel.Aston Villa: Taylor, Mellberg, Laursen, Davies, Bouma, Gardner,
Petrov, Reo-Coker, Young, Carew, Agbonlahor. Subs: Sorensen,
Harewood, Knight, Cahill, Osbourne.
Referee: Mark Clattenburg (Tyne %26 Wear) So no Babel again, which I’m sure Villa’s defence will be happy about. Meanwhile, Villa will miss injured Gareth Barry’s presence in midfield and Scott Carson between the sticks, who can’t play because he’s a Liverpool player. Pre-match banter: “Ahhh, Liverpool, making fourth their own,” says Jason Begley. “Problem is of course, under Benitez they have never finished fourth in the Premier League, have they?” Ah, good point Jason. Third, third and fifth. By mean average I suppose you’re right. They’ve finished 3.33rd.
“Good luck with the run. Clearly you are insane,” says Rob Calver. “In my opinion, the only way Hicks and Gillett can win over the Liverpool fans is to don replica shirts, sack Benitez and bring back the last manager who brought glory to the club. I don’t mean Graeme Souness either, surely Bob Paisley is the only man who has any chance of getting the club back to where they were in the 70s and 80s.” Surely bringing back Kenny Dalglish would be the equivalent Rob. If he’s not available though perhaps Kelly would do.
“Why have you got a picture of Michael Winner and Ron Atkinson on the Liverpool MBM? Atkinson may support Villa but Winner only supports his belly and gourmet masochism,” guffaws Alex Farncombe. “If Torres was playing for Villa, I’d go with 0-3 as a prediction. Alas he’s not, so 1-2, with Villa’s combination of big guys and fast guys seeing off Liverpool’s ever-rotating hotch-potch,” predicts Gary Naylor, while sucking on an Everton mint. “That photo of Gillett and Hicks looks as if they are either reaching for their wallets to hand Benitez a bumper transfer kitty or to accept a bumper buyout from DIC,” says Mark Judd. I reckon they’ve just been told they’ve been cheering on the wrong team, such is their knowledge of football. Pre-match build-up: You’ll Never Walk Alone rings out around Anfield and Kopites display numerous banners protesting against Gillett and Hicks. “One DIC is better than three,” proclaims one. Presumably, the third DIC is Rick Parry.Kick off: We’re underway. Liverpool win the toss and will attack the Anfield Road end first. 1 min: Kuyt plays a 30 yard cross-field pass to Benayoun who has space 18 yards out, but slices his volley into the top tier of the Anfield Road. He should have done better.4 min: “Liverpool Football Club is in the wrong hands” sing the Kop. Meanwhile Villa get hold of possession and knock it around leisurely at the back. Laursen looks long for Carew but Hyypia beats him to it. 7 min: “Without wishing to be pedantic,” says, Adam Jackson, being quite clearly pedantic, “the mean average of 3,3 and 5 is 3.67, not 3.33.” GU Towers isn’t big on calculators I’m afraid Adam. The match is a bit of a sideshow to the support for Rafael Benitez, but Agbonlahor almost beats the advancing Reina to a through-ball 10 yards outside his box, but the danger is cleared.10 min: There’s a bit of head tennis in the middle of the pitch but then Fabio Aurelio impersonates John Arne Riise’s lethargy and gets caught in possession on the right touchline. Agbonlahor races away from him but drags his shot 10 yards wide under pressure from Hyypia. 12 min: Gerrard combines well with Kewell in the centre circle to wrong foot Gardner. Kewell then plays a sneaky pass to Benayoun who is again wasteful when he has a half chance to get a shot on target.16 min: “Poor maths there, Gregg. Third, third and fifth is not an average of 3.33, but 3.75,” says Robert Birkett. That varies from Adam Jackson’s maths. Can we have a definitive answer? Meanwhile Kewell has a shot blocked after a Torres run. Gerrard’s corner is poor though.GOAL! Liverpool 1-0 Aston Villa (Benayoun 19): Dirk Kuyt plays a brilliant reverse pass after Steven Gerrard had found the Dutchman in the area. Benayoun’s initial shot is blocked but the Israeli makes up for his earlier wastefulness by prodding home the rebound.21 min: Liverpool are good value for their lead, but Villa win a corner after Bouma’s cross is blocked. The big men amble up to the box.23 min: Carew gets his head to it but Gerrard stands in his way and his header rebounds off the Liverpool captain.25 min: “So how are you training for your 21-mile a day madness, Gregg?” enquires Matthew Cobb. “I had a girlfriend once who reckoned it was dead easy - she ran one mile and said that was no problem, so all she had to do was run twice as far the next day, then twice as far again the day after that, and so on. If you adopt that strategy, by 1st April you’ll be running ‘Roughley’ halfway round the universe (sorry, couldn’t resist)…” Eh, anymore name jokes like that Matthew and I’ll get a ‘Cobb’ on! Right, enough. Liverpool seem content to keep possession instead of going for a second.28 min: The match has died some what after the goal. Dirk Kuyt does fizz a cross past the six-yard box though, but Torres and Benayoun don’t gamble to get on the end of it. “‘Liverpool football club is in the wrong hands’” Surely the 40,000 Scousers and thier legendary wit would be able to come up with something a bit more cutting or catchier,” says a disappointed Paul Beaumont. Maybe Stan Boardman and Tarby aren’t in the Kop tonight Paul.32 min: Aurelio goes close with a shot from the edge of the area - he’s still to open his Liverpool account. Reo Coker makes a great tackle on Torres as he’s in full flight heading for Villa’s goal. Mascherano picks up the loose ball and jogs forward, but if truth be told, he looks like he’s desperate to give it to a more attacking colleague, which he duly does by finding Gerrard. Torres picks up his pass but Laursen shrugs him off the ball.35 min: Finally an answer to the mean average of third, third and fifth. “If we’re going to be pedantic Gregg,” pipes in chief of the pedants Sean Moore, “we may as well do it properly - the mean average of three, three and five is not 3.67, but 3.666 recurring for ever and ever and ever, not unlike the hell Liverpool fans have been trapped in since 1990, back when they were good, or Man City Fans have been in for 30 years, or the Geordies for 50 years (etc etc etc). Good luck with your run.” Cheers Sean. Benayoun clashes heads with Bouma, and predictably, the slight Israeli suffers most.39 min: Villa can’t keep hold of the ball. Hyypia is out-muscling big bad John Carew every time the ball is launched forward. But so far, Liverpool haven’t done enough to force a second goal. Ian Copestake has kindly offered a reason for Liverpool’s toils. “Liverpool suffer from a difficult second goal syndrome. The longer they take to get it the more chance of a Villa revival tonight.” I think many Kopites hope they can sort out their difficult second owner syndrome sooner rather than later too, Ian.42 min: Arbeloa shoves Gardner and wins a corner when it should have been a Villa free-kick. Gerrard swings it in but Laursen clears. Carew beats Carragher to Villa’s clearance and Hyypia makes a last ditch tackle to prevent Agbonlahor from a shot on goal six yards out.44 min: Petrov lashes an ugly shot high into the Kop. It was only a half-chance from 18 yards out but he still should have done better.Peep! Half-time arrives and the score so far reflects the match perfectly. Villa haven’t kept hold of the ball well enough to threaten the Liverpool goal, but neither have Liverpool done enough to convert their possession into more clear cut chances. Torres has been particularly quiet, while (whisper it) Kuyt has been one of Liverpool’s better players tonight.A bleak vision of the future from Jami Taylor. “Liverpool supporters should be careful about trashing Gillett and Hicks. Remember, they are American businessmen. They might charge pro seat licenses if you want access to the new stadium, McAnfield. They might also mess with tradition and trot out a brand new uniform every couple of years. Of course, the new jersey will feature focus group selected colors such as kelly green, teal, purple or something else from the ghastly NFL palette. Sing YNWA, forget it. You will get YMCA piped in for a 65th minute stretch.” Angry email alert: “Right Gregg seriously something has to be done” - uh, oh, sounds like Disgruntled of Tunbridge Wells - “I have just sat and watched that first half and My God Almighty it was nothing short of brutal - seriously something has to be done. I just wish I could sit both teams down in front of me in a classroom and force them to watch that tripe and then ask them ‘Is that football? IS THAT FOOTBALL???’ Neither team has been able to string more that two passes together and what’s worse is that they don’t seem to think anything is wrong - do the football watching public even think anything is wrong anymore - is anyone going to take a stand against this rubbish? I urge everyone to go to their windows and open them up and shout out a la Peter Finch “I’m as mad as hell %26 I’m not going to take it anymore” - Ahhh I think I feel better now,” says Thomas Nolan.45 min: We’re back underway and hopefully this second half will prevent an angry public from opening their windows and screaming for better football. Kewell plays in a low cross and Davis ‘Titus Brambles’ his clearance inches wide of the Villa goal. Corner.47 min: “Would it be harsh to suggest that Benayoun with his goal tonight has now officially taken Luis Garcia’s role in the Liverpool side as the mostly ineffectual lightweight winger whose presence in the team is only tolerated because of their knack of chipping in with important goals?” asks Paul Beaumont. I’d say that’s harsh Paul. He is lightweight, but I don’t think he wastes possession with quite the wild abandon of Garcia. 50 min: Dirk Kuyt embarrasses himself. Gerrard plays a slide rule pass to the Dutchman, who is free in the Villa box 10 yards out. His first touch takes him five yards wide and his second touch sends the ball hopelessly high and wide into the Kop - %26#163;10m! Really?52 min: Liverpool plough forwards. First Torres drags the ball inside, as is now his trademark, but Taylor gathers before he can get his shot away, Kewell lashes a shot from 25 yards which Taylor saves well, and finally, Torres grazes the bar with an attempt from 18 yards - still no second goal though.55 min: The match has come to life now, as Liverpool come forward again. Benayoun and Gerrard switch passes and the captain slides in Arbeloa, who drags the ball onto his unfavoured left foot and fires over the bar.58 min: Villa gamely force Liverpool back with some hard work from Petrov, of all people. Their final ball is still found wanting though, but if they do get their delivery right, Carew poses enough of a threat to put Villa level.62 min: “I wish there was a ‘Titus Bramble’ in every team in the Premier League,” says Pramod Hegde, in the States, wistfully. “Laughter is the best medicine, you see.” Unless you’re Steve Bruce Pramod. Villa have survived Liverpool’s onslaught well. Laursen has got to grips with Torres again and their midfield has started to put more pressure on Gerrard and Mascherano. Liverpool have a tendency to attack in five minute waves and burn out, in my humble opinion. Reo Coker fouls Torres 30 yards out. Gerrard stands over the ball. 66 min: Carew gets a shot away for Villa but Reina saves sharply low to his left. Kuyt has a shot blocked for Liverpool.GOAL! Liverpool 1-1 Aston Villa (Harewood 69): Harewood comes on for Craig Gardner and scores with his first touch. Predictably, Laursen gets onto the end of a free-kick lofted in from 35 yards and Harewood scores with an overhead kick from six yards out. Great goal, against the run of play. GOAL! Liverpool 1-2 Aston Villa (Aurelio own goal 70): Villa win another free-kick on the right. Mellberg wins the knock down and hits a volley against Aurelio’s hand. The ball deflects wickedly and lands in the goal. The Villa fans go crazy. 72 min: Amid the madness Babel has replaced the ineffectual Kewell. He immediately looks the liveliest player on the pitch and goes close with a shot just wide of the left hand post.75 min: Liverpool didn’t deal with the crosses effectively and have paid a hefty price. Aurelio wins a corner but Villa are a different outfit in every department now. They have tightened up in preparation for an onslaught. 78 min: Skrtel has come on for the injured Arbeloa. “Marlon Harewood scores at Anfield. Whoever placed that bet has just ordered a round for the bar I suspect,” says Richard Whittall. Peter Crouch replaces Benayoun. I expect Rafa Benitez is going to instruct his team to go long in desperation.80 min: Liverpool win a corner. Aurelio swings it to Gerrard on the edge of the box, but the Liverpool captain mis-controls and Villa break. Skrtel snuffs out the danger and Liverpool hoof it long to Peter Crouch.83 min: Gerrard pings two passes in at Peter Crouch and Jamie Carragher in the Aston Villa box, but both are speculative and are cleared easily.85 min: Liverpool are camped out in the Villa half now. Gerrard blasts a shot from 30 yards and flattens Stilian Petrov, who lies prone on the Anfield turf.87 min: “‘The ball deflects wickedly and lands in the goal. The Villa fans go crazy.’ As do all of us Evertonians. And rightly so,” hoots Noemi Garcia Gonzalez. “Admittedly Torres was a good signing, but so was Yakubu, and at less than half the price.” Liverpool win a free-kick. GOAL! Liverpool 2-2 Aston Villa (Crouch 88): The former Villa man drills a volley into the roof of the net from 10 yards after Carragher used his backside to knock an Aurelio free-kick down to the feet of the big man. Should be a fraught two minutes now.
90 min: Carew is replaced by Zat Knight in an attempt to waste the final three minutes of injury time. Liverpool launch another attack.90+3: Harewood gets hold of the ball and keeps it in the corner to see out time. Mark Clattenburg blows his whistle and brings to a close a dramatic finale.
Full-time: Aston Villa will be disappointed that they couldn’t hold on to their lead, but will still surely have taken a point before the match. Liverpool should have made more of their attacks early in the second half and put the game beyond Villa. Rafael Benitez will be glad all the focus is on the Liverpool owners, because, with a record of 10 draws this season, Liverpool fans may otherwise be focusing on him. Thanks for your many, many emails. Also, thanks for your sponsorship.
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